Online slogan generators: Not great with slogans, but perfect for comic relief

Amazon: Seller Unknown

Amazon: Seller Unknown

I’d wanted to write an exposé on Grammarly, assuming there was some dirt on Grammarly to dig up, but I ended up writing about Oberlo because Oberlo’s online slogan generator is free (and Grammarly is not).

If you’re a writer and the name Oberlo means nothing to you, that’s ok. Oberlo has nothing to do with writing. It’s a dropshipping app launched by two Lithuanian hucksters, Andrius and Tomas Slimas, in 2002.

Dropshipping may not mean anything to you either. And actually the less you know the better. But in a nutshell, when you dropship, you set up a slick shell website on, say, Shopify (shame on you, Shopify), buy cheap and shoddy goods (often from the People’s Republic of China), and then foist them, at hugely marked up-prices, upon unsuspecting marks in the West who think they’re buying real products from a legitimate business.

For a deeper dive, check out this deeply weird episode of Reply All, or this interactive article by Jenny Odell, who crawled down the dropshipping rabbit hole and managed to crawl back out again to write about it.

I guess the free slogan generator was the Slimas Brothers’ way of saying thank you to the legions of Oberlo dropshippers who turn to them for assistance every day with their all-but-criminal start-ups. “Can’t think of three words to describe your new shell company? No problem, boys!”

I ended up writing about Oberlo because Oberlo’s online slogan generator is free (and Grammarly is not).

The good thing about the Oberlo slogan generator is that it’s incredibly quick and easy to use, so you get your slogans fast. Just type in your keywords and out pop 1,076 original slogan ideas.

The bad thing about the Oberlo slogan generator is that, like dropshipping generally and the Slimas Brothers particularly, no matter what you type in, you’re going to get a cheap, crappy solution back.

For instance, if you feed the Oberlo slogan generator nonsense like “dead toes and cabbage gas”, you get 1,076 ready-made slogan ideas like these. (I’ve actually provided a representative sample below the visual, broken down into rough tonal categories for your reading convenience.)

Click to enlarge

Corporate

Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas—Enjoy the Difference.

Playful

My Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas, Your Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas, Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas for All!

Dylanesque

Wrapped up with Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas.

Fatalistic

Once Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas, Always Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas.

Curious

What is Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas?

Sassy

When You’ve Got Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas, Flaunt it.

Upbeat

Up, Up and Away With Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas.

Super upbeat

Dead Toes And Cabbage Gaserrific!

Proud

See My Shiny New Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas?

Theatrical

It’s not a Dream. Dead Toes and Cabbage Gas is Real!

Dead Toes And Cabbage Gaserrific!

On the other hand, if you type in fairly common keywords like “heartburn relief”, here is a representative sample of what you get from Oberlo:

Can you tell heartburn relief from butter?

Heartburn Relief—You See this Name, You think Dirty

Put Heartburn Relief in Your Pipe and Smoke it!

The Heartburn Relief Man

Heartburn Relief. It’s What’s for Dinner.

The list goes on, and on and on and on.

After using the Oberlo slogan generator for just ten minutes, it was totally obvious that even with 1,076 original options, I wasn’t going to find a single slogan I could foist upon an unsuspecting client like a dropshipped watch from the PRC, whether I was peddling dead toes and cabbage gas or heartburn relief.

At the same time, this knowledge had only made me more curious. Now l wanted to know if anyone actually used free slogan generators to help them with their slogans. And if yes, where I would find them besides Shopify? Amazon? Wix? Weebly?

To date, I’ve discovered a single online entity: Asscarrots (possibly a failed dropshipper who discovered the magic of the Oberlo slogan generator and then used it for less nefarious ends.) But the search goes on.

Asscarrots: Failed Dropshipper?

In the meantime, to find out how to actually write a decent slogan, join us in a week for Episode 3 of our three-part series on slogans (or taglines, straplines, etc.) in which I promise to show you how to use five pretty awesome ideas from the world of fiction writing to write slogans that work.

Or should I say: It’s not a Dream. Good Slogans Are Real!