Who do you put on a pedal stool?
On a phone call recently, I used the phrase "the proof is in the pudding" much to the amusement of the person down the line. Other than making me sound about a thousand years old, I also later realised I was slightly off the mark as the *actual* phrase is "the proof of the pudding is in the eating".
This got me thinking about phrases that are used and, more specifically, abused on a regular basis. Over on reddit, the black hole of procrastination I regularly fall into, only to emerge, bleary eyed and not particularly enriched hours later, there is an extract that is regularly copy pasted in the comments section whenever someone comes out with a misquoted gem. It's so popular, it has earned a place in /r/copypasta, the infamous subreddit which acts as a repository for commonly copy pasted chunks of text.
Here it is, in all it's glory:
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
Despite the fact that pretty much everyone is prone to making linguistic gaffes on occasion, somehow this bears no relation to the ball of judgement we become when we hear someone do the same.
I actually not-so-secretly love it when this happens. It falls under the same category as misheard song lyrics (guess which Metallica lyric I thought was "Don't fry tomatoes baby". Oh James Hetfield, you missed a chance at pure poetry there) and outrageously spelled restaurant menus (a recent example was offering up Souvlaki, which, unbeknown to me, is a plate of tender skewers of porn). So maybe it's OK to blunder on, on occasion. If nothing else, it's good for a chuckle and the unexpected joy of asking: "What did you just say...??"